Lord Chamberlain Reynard's Rules Of order

An excerpt from…
Lord Chamberlain Reynard’s Rules of Order

from Chapter 3:

Proper Etiquette for the Loyal Subject
Upon Visiting Foxwood Castle and
Upon Meeting Royalty.

Rule One.   Obey at all the times the orders, commands and directions of The Lord Chamberlain.  He is the Director, Steward and Guide to all who enter and have business within the Castle.  He is there for your protection, for your edification, and to do what he can to help you not embarrass yourself on a day you should well remember for a lifetime as Glorious (not Abjectly Humiliating).

Rule Two.   Royal Subjects, be they Foxes, Wolves, Faeries, Sprites, Trolls (and even & especially Cats ) bow ONLY to King Anton, and NOT to the Council Princesses.  The proper greeting in the presence of a Princess is to Follow Her Lead.  If she extends her royal hand, you may touch it with your own; should she open her arms to embrace you, you should hug her just as she hugs you; should she bestow a kiss upon your cheek, you should then (and only then!) kiss her cheek in return.  Foxes and Wolves should abide in the knowing that the Sacred Compact forever sanctioning the Princesses’ Royal Station and Reign in Foxwood is bedrocked in their Beloved Status.  We have vowed our loyalty to the rule of Princesses, in the Absence of King Anton, the Fox of Nine Tails, because of the order and peace their wisdom and goodness has brought to our Kingdom.  We will love the Princesses and abide by their guidance for as long as they continue to love and care for us as unreservedly as we do of them.  That is the Sacred Compact, the Forever Bond.  We love & adore the Princesses.  But we are NOT slaves of them.  No bowing and no kneeling.  And, certainly, no fainting.

Rule Three.  Refer back to Rule One.  If you memorize Rules One through Two, then you pretty much know all you have to know for visiting the Castle (if invited – ONLY if invited).  But – and I cannot emphasize this too much! – especially commit to memory RULE ONE.  If more of you would simply adhere properly to Rule One, then life around Athena would move along quite a bit more smoothly and sanely – now wouldn’t it!  So why don’t you guys just go ahead and learn how to obey Rule One ? Why?!  Just tell me! Why?!!

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